“Whose Paying Off The Oscars?”

So, I thought before just diving straight into reviews that I would write this initial article to demonstrate my movie knowledge and also to give myself some type of legitimacy before I expect people to automatically trust my opinions.

 I need to get this out there because apparently no one else feels the need to say it: How in the hell did Argo manage to sneak away with Best Picture? First of all, let me make it clear that I loved and highly recommend Argo; it definitely was one of the best pictures of the year by far- just not the overall best. I could have seen Argo take home this award maybe another year, but this particular award season had just too much superior competition. My theory: The academy had to make up for their fail in not nominating Ben Affleck for Best Director OR someone just paid off them off, obviously.

 I am assuming that most people did not see the majority of the Best Picture nominated films this year (besides probably Lincoln and Silver Linings), which is why there has been very little chatter about this matter. Then, once Argo won the Oscar, everyone ran out to watch the acclaimed film and because it is a great movie, there was no reason to second guess the win. However, if you saw more than two of the nominees, you would understand why I am confused about the Academy’s decision. The way I see it, there is no rationale to defend the Academy’s call in choosing Argo as the winner versus the rest of the nominees. Here’s my logic.

 In my opinion, I thought Les Mis was the clear winner. Whether you like the storyline, musicals, Russell Crowe’s singing ability, or not, you cannot argue that this movie was absolutely one-of-a-kind and a revolutionary masterpiece. The actors and orchestra performing live, a technique that had never been done before, created an unforgettable movie experience. I will admit that on an overall pure enjoyment level Argo probably beats Les Mis. However, it is indisputable that the incredible moviemaking and talent that went into Les Mis is unparalleled by any other recent film and makes for a timeless classic- therefore its defeat to Argo has me stumped.

Moving on, if Les Mis didn’t win, then Life of Pi was the next no-brainer. Again, unbelievable film-making. The visual effects and jaw-dropping imagery alone could have made this movie the winner. In addition, the film managed to grip the audience and evoke waves of emotion with pretty much just an outstanding solo performance of Pi (how did that guy not get a best actor nom?). I was in awe throughout most of the movie, wondering how they were able to create the things they did- I swear that tiger and sinking cruise ship had to be real. Life of Pi is a stunningly beautiful film and incomparable to anything else out there, yet somehow it fell short to Argo. But it did win Best Director so I guess it gets the pass.

Now if those two masterpieces did not rise to the occasion, then Django Unchained should have taken the award, no question. Now this film I actually did enjoy more than Argo. Tarantino: phenomenal. Jamie Foxx: total badass. Leo: can do no wrong. On top of that, it was filled with perfectly picturesque scenes and an original storyline that included captivating characters. What the hell else can you say you look for in a movie? But it won Best Screenplay, so we can move on.

 Now if ALL these groundbreaking movies couldn’t make the cut then at least give it to LINCOLN! Jesus, I didn’t even really like this movie and I thought it was the obvious runner-up to Les Mis considering it’s a Spielberg film- oh and Daniel Day Lewis thought he actually was Abraham Lincoln. Personally, I thought the film was overrated but come on, the Academy seriously thought this film was lacking in comparison to Argo? Yeah, I’m sure.

 I did also see Zero Dark Thirty but it didn’t put up much competition and no explanation is really needed. Good movie, yeah yeah, whatever. Now somehow Argo beat out four movies that were all shoe-ins to win this award without question. Am I the only person that thinks this has to be some kind of weird joke- or maybe it was a fluke? You know what- I bet the Oscars envelope thing-y didn’t even say “Argo.” I’m thinking the presenter, naturally the First Lady Michelle Obama (by the way- what??), is to blame. Maybe she is boys with Clooney and wanted to help her producer pal out so she gave him the win. Or she looked down, saw that Lincoln (a republican) was the winner, and said; F that, “and the Oscar goes to… uh, Argo!”

All in all, my guess is that Argo’s Best Picture win was the Academy’s way of saving face after critics and fans went into an uproar after Affleck went looked over for the Best Director nomination. I guess Argo managed to be an Award-Winning Best Picture film without the help of a good director. And if that assumption was too far-fetched for you to believe, then George Clooney paid the Academy off. Anyway, no one seemed to care about or question this win, probably because no one has seen any of the movies I mentioned, so I thought I would bring some awareness to the topic.

 Anyway, congrats to Ben.  He has become a very legitimate director despite a lot of haters who are still stuck on presumptions concerning Good Will Hunting. I would consider myself an overall fan of his- ignoring that Bennifer/Jenny-from-the- Block-music-video/Gigli phase (but we all know whose really to blame for that one anyway right guys, ehh, ehh?). But the Jennifer Garner/Director of The Town/Down-To-Earth-Family-Man-While-Still-Being-A-Hollywood-Director/Bearded phase is doing it for me. No hate on him whatsoever. And I’m sure I’ll probably buy the DVD.


One thought on “Articles

  1. Totally agree except with the Michelle Obama part. Do you really think she even knows Lincoln was a republican? Ask 10 random people and find out for yourself

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